Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
