Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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