i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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