I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
