The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
