i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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