i think my tv is drunk
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
