I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
