Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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