Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Randomize
