hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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