No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
