how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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