jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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