shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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