Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
