Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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