this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
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yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
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I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
The adults are the big ones right?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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