As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
