don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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