hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
