I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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