left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I think people are normalizing furries
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
