I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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