i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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