Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
