Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
