Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
