I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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