I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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