It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
