Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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