Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
