we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
