just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
