I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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