I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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