I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
