coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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