I feel great
I just peed on a car
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
