I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
