I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
