ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i was born a porn star she said
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
