my room smells like sperm. sweet.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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