her vagine was all disorganized.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
