Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize