I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
