oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
