just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
