Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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