I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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