no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
