I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Randomize
