Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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