This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
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I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
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ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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