Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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