we have officially lost it.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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