i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
