I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize