She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
